Sunsets

"And the sun will set for you,
The sun will set for you.
And the shadow of the day,
Will embrace the world in gray,
And the sun will set for you."

There have been many blessings in my life that I am so very thankful for, but there are still times when the joy of my life is muted by circumstance and stress and exhaustion. In those times, I allow myself to drift from the truth of who I am and whose I am. I allow myself to dwell on things I don't have or the places I can't go or friends who...aren't.

It is time though to get on my feet and continue on the journey though. I can't hold up my life for things. They don't bring real joy. I can't hold up my life wishing I was somewhere else. Everything I truly love is right here. I can't hold up my life waiting for people who don't enjoy my company. Not everyone is going to like me and they don't need to.

I've wasted enough time on these things and more. No more...at least for tonight. Tonight I play with my daughter. Tonight I spend time with my wife. Tonight I remember what it is that gives me life. The rest of the crap is a waste and I have to say good-bye.



"Sometimes beginnings aren't so simple. Sometimes goodbye's the only way."









Lyrics from Shadow of the Day by Linkin Park

Spending Money to Save Money

Gas is killing us, so we need to get a vehicle that gets better mileage. The thing is, we are upside down on our truck so I think the easiest thing is to trade it in for new. Please put in your two cents with the poll and if you have comments, I'd love to hear them.

UPDATE: Well, we are on the road to recovery, at least in the car department. A higher payment, but a lower gas bill and overall a net gain.

We ended up getting the 08' Malibu LS. No extra frills, but it still has everything you need and even some things that are extra on other base model cars. Plus it still looks pretty sweet if I do say so myself...and I don't. :)

Struggle of the Week Club

For some reason life continues to bring new struggles even when I wasn't finished with the problem I already had. Sometimes old problems return that I was sure I had laid to rest.

I guess that is ultimately the point of God's message. I can't do it on my own. No matter how hard I try to take steps towards goodness, I find myself back on my butt, trying to figure out how I got to this place again.

(Content Edited. To be Republished in Separate Post.)

He Did it Just For You

I just finished another book by Max Lucado titled, He Chose the Nails. It is an amazing book and a must read. I know that it isn't new, and I may be pretty late to party, but this an incredible, life-changing book that you need to read if you haven't already. If you have...read it again.

Making a Choice

I have found my anthem...my pledge to begin each day in a book by Max Lucado called, Let the Journey Begin.

I choose love...
No occasion justifies hatred; no injustice warrants bitterness. I choose love. Today I will love God and what God loves.

I choose joy...
I will invite my God to be the God of circumstance. I will refuse the temptation to be cynical...the tool of the lazy thinker. I will refuse to see people as anything less than human beings, created by God. I will refuse to see any problem as anything less than an opportunity to see God.

I choose peace...
I will live forgiven. I will forgive so that I may live.

I choose patience...
I will overlook the inconveniences of the world. Instead of cursing the one who takes my place, I'll invite him to do so. Rather than complain that the wait is too long. I will thank God for a moment to pray. Instead of clinching my fist at new assignments, I will face them with joy and courage.

I choose kindness...
I will be kind to the poor, for they are alone. Kind to the rich, for they are afraid. And kind to the unkind, for such is how God has treated me.

I choose goodness...
I will go without a dollar before I take a dishonest one. I will be overlooked before I will boast. I will confess before I will accuse. I choose goodness.

I choose faithfulness...
Today I will keep my promises. My debtors will not regret their trust. My associates will not question my word. My wife will not question my love. And my [child] will never fear that [her] father will not come home.

I choose gentleness...
Nothing is won by force. I choose to be gentle. If I raise my voice may it be only in praise. If I clench my fist, may it be only in prayer. If I make a demand, may it be only of myself.

I choose self-control...
I am a spiritual being. After this body is dead, my spirit will soar. I refuse to let what will rot, rule the eternal. I choose self-control. I will be drunk only by joy. I will be impassioned only by my faith. I will be influenced only by God. I will be taught only by Christ. I choose self-control.

Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. To these I commit my day. If I succeed, I will give thanks. If I fail, I will seek His grace.

Now, I pray for God's strength to live this way each and every day.

2am Practice

For the past several nights I've been waking up at around 2am along with my wife. It is the kind of waking up where you flop out of of bed, lumber over to the alarm clock, stare at it from 6 inches away and then realize how early it is...awesome.

I've convinced myself that this is all in preparation for the 2am birth and the 2am feedings and 2am cryings and 2am diaper changes and 2am cryings...for me this time. I guess it is better than quiting sleep cold turkey. Mmm...cold turkey. I think I could use one of those 2am feedings right now. I wonder if my wife will bring me food if I start screaming and crying. I could tell her it is good practice for motherhood and I am doing it out of love. Even this early, I know that isn't the wise choice.

Guitar Hero: Maybe Love is Blind and Deaf

Another session of strumming cords and trying to create comprehensible music from my guitar have left me a little frustrated. I am able to make a few pleasant sounds, but the fact is, I don't know what I'm doing. I have no musical background, I can't afford lessons, I have never played an instrument, I don't know how to read music, my fingers seem too short, I think I'm tone deaf and yet I somehow thought that getting guitar was a good idea.
Regardless, I'll keep picking it up and picking away at it. I'm sure with time I'll gain some rudimentary skills at least. The good news is, my wife likes to hear me play for some reason. Of course she also thinks I'm handsome for some reason which gives me reason to doubt both her eyesight and hearing.

Welcome to the Blogosphere

One of the few frequently visited websites I like to look at when I have a few extra moments had an interesting quote...

"The Blogosphere is exploding- like a self-replicating super virus bursting with mundane observations, bad poetry, and generously misrepresentative photos. Never have so many people with so little to say said so much to so few. "

When I read that, I just laughed at what I've started and what I've planned for the future of this little endeavor. I have plenty of mundane observations and bad poetry to share, but up until now, I've kept this site a secret. I guess I was trying to fill it up a little more or busy it up with cool lists and links, but that comes with the journey. It will grow with me and perhaps I should do what I set out to do...let my thoughts hang out there for their own sake. So...the launch party is today I guess. Welcome, all, to the Blogosphere!

Why not the digital highway?

Who would have guessed? An introverted guy like me actually throwing out some thoughts for all to see. As I stumble and bumble my way through existance, trying to find my way back to life that is full and back on a path towards God, I must dare to make some steps in totally new directions. 'You can't change, while staying the same. You can't follow while standing still.'

Maybe there is an on ramp from the internet. Maybe there is a liberating power that comes with just being who you are laying everything out there for all to see and not really worrying about what they think. Maybe this could be a start to something really great in my life...a vehicle for improvement.