I've been awake for about 19 hours so far.

I'm not tired.

I should be tired. I usually don't wake up at 2:30am, get ready, drive an hour, work for over 13 hours, drive half an hour, pick up my daughter, drive another half hour, feed and entertain her for another half an hour until her mommy gets home just in time to change her dirty diaper. (Good girl.)

I can't say I have all that much on my mind, so it is hard to understand where I'm at today. I should feel good...I think. I lived a pretty good day today. I worked hard even when no one was looking. I didn't make smart ass comments and sideways insults. I took criticism and didn't get angry. I didn't think about stuff I could buy. I loved my wife and my daughter. I thought about God and how I could teach His truths on Sunday and the first Wednesday of each month. I should feel pretty good about today, but maybe the fear that tomorrow won't be so kind is looming in my mind. Maybe the fear that tomorrow I won't be as kind is looming.

I guess it is good the day is almost over. Maybe tomorrow I can figure it out.

It's What I Do

Tired

Cold

Coffee

Mmm

Busy

Ringing

Typing

Laughing

Calling

Panicking

Rearranging

Searching

Calling

Typing

Calling

Rearranging

Rearranging

Calling

Typing

Calling

Exhaling

Relaxing

Filing

Typing

Cold

Tired

Coffee

Mmm

Another day at the office. Thank God for weekends.

Birthday Celebration

Today Olivia celebrates her birthday for the first time. Watching her grow has been an amazing honor and blessing that I find nearly impossible to explain in words.

She has been such an incredible addition to our family and my life. From the sounds of her heart beating, to the pictures of her tiny feet on the ultrasound, and when she finally came to breath her first breath...I was in love.

And it wasn't love diverted. It wasn't love rationed down to include a new soul. It was a new love entirely for her. A pure and whole love that I would have never experienced without God's gift of her in my life. I have thanked the LORD for her so many times, but I can never thank Him enough.



Sleep soundly my darling angel. You have a big day ahead. So many of your family are coming to see you in a few short hours. There will be presents and laughter and your favorite foods. This is a special day indeed and I hope you can someday truly understand how special you are. That is a hard lesson to learn. (Believe me, I'm still working on it.)

Through everything though...all your good and bad days ahead...I want you to know that I have always loved you and I always will.

Happy Birthday, Lu!