Wanting Not to Want

It is tough being a recovering spoiled brat. Contentment is no easy thing to really let sink in. God has given and continues to give me so much, but I can't help but whine for more. I want more this and bigger that...'this' being money and 'that' being a TV for example for those with slightly perverse minds.

Living paycheck to paycheck is a new experience for me. I should be so happy that God provides enough every day, week, and month and I am, but I struggle to be completely happy with it. My nature is always nagging me to get more, more, more! I know the lie that if I just get this one more thing, I'll be happy, but that realization doesn't silence the beast.

Why can't I just be content with everything I have, especially when I know how lucky and blessed I am? Every day I feel like I couldn't ask for more, but I still do. It is a hard lesson to learn, but I do thank God that He is patient enough and gracious enough to teach me. Perhaps I can focus not being content on not being content...sorta like fighting fire with fire.