Silhouette on the Horizon

"The journey of life has forks in the road...and sometimes two friends have to take different paths. I don't regret the path I've chosen or that's been chosen for me, but I do sometimes miss those who traveled with me along the way and are now on a different route. Perhaps we'll intersect through the years and remember, together, why our hearts are so fond of one another, but if not, in the end I think we will end up at the same destination."

I've come to another fork in the road and seen a another friend fading into the horizon. I've seen the shrinking silhouette for some time now and didn't know what to say and frankly didn't know how to feel.

We've since talked and regardless of my feelings, the paths we must each go are just not the same. So, I turn the corner on another surprising twist of fate. Two people following the same Lord, going in different directions.

Maybe I'll figure it out further on down the road, but for now I look on ahead...and smile. I'll come away better for our friendship and I will have nothing but warm memories of the brief bit of life we shared together.

Out of Sorts Olivia

My little girl has been feeling lousy the last week. It is a real bummer watching her cry and want to be held, then cry and want to be put down and vice-versa. She just doesn't know what she wants.

It is a new experience for me as a father, but it just makes me all the more determined to find that special thing that makes her smile.

A tasty biter cooker seemed to do the trick tonight.

Slow to Speak

I pissed off my wife yesterday.

I was trying to be witty and fun, but I came off as a jerk. While we were supposed to be having a fun day off to get errands done, have a picnic, hike a nature trail and end up at the rehearsal for our friends' wedding, I was starting the journey off with a bang by speaking before thinking.

The thing is, I wasn't in a bad mood or meaning to poke fun at her. In fact, I was so excited to be with her and Olivia for the whole day that I was in a great mood. A little under the weather, sure, but I was looking forward to all the day had in store.

My attempts to start the day out with a laugh, however, were not met with the best response. I chalked it up to her having a bad morning or something. Maybe she was nervous or stressed about all the things she knew needed to get done. So, I did what any reasonable person would do, keep making sarcastic comments towards my wife to cheer her up.

The thing is, not everyone thinks sarcasm is as funny as me. Not everyone thinks sarcasm is a proper default mode of communication.

Somehow I forget that Jess cannot read my mind and I, in turn, get angry at her for not accepting my playful comments as just that. So there are days when I'm quick to speak AND quick to get angry. Nice combo.

As you can guess by now, Jessica did get angry (or frustrated as she likes to say) and I did get angry and pouty and ready to teach her a lesson in what happens when you make ME angry. A little cold shoulder would teach her to appreciate my hilarious and well-thought comedy.

Well-thought comedy that I just blurted out...without thinking. Crap.

In the silence I reflect. I hate being wrong. There must be some loophole where this was all her fault.

Nope.

I was an ass.

Double crap.

So, I ponder my options to try and fix the day and get us back on course. How can I get my heart and mind in the right place so my wife can have a safe and peaceful day with her husband and daughter? It didn't take a whole lot of thought to realize that my words needed just a little more of that...thought.

I needed and need to make sure my head and heart are running before putting my mouth in gear. I need to make sure I'm listening not only to my wife or friend or coworker, but also to myself a little longer before speaking.