Slow to Speak

I pissed off my wife yesterday.

I was trying to be witty and fun, but I came off as a jerk. While we were supposed to be having a fun day off to get errands done, have a picnic, hike a nature trail and end up at the rehearsal for our friends' wedding, I was starting the journey off with a bang by speaking before thinking.

The thing is, I wasn't in a bad mood or meaning to poke fun at her. In fact, I was so excited to be with her and Olivia for the whole day that I was in a great mood. A little under the weather, sure, but I was looking forward to all the day had in store.

My attempts to start the day out with a laugh, however, were not met with the best response. I chalked it up to her having a bad morning or something. Maybe she was nervous or stressed about all the things she knew needed to get done. So, I did what any reasonable person would do, keep making sarcastic comments towards my wife to cheer her up.

The thing is, not everyone thinks sarcasm is as funny as me. Not everyone thinks sarcasm is a proper default mode of communication.

Somehow I forget that Jess cannot read my mind and I, in turn, get angry at her for not accepting my playful comments as just that. So there are days when I'm quick to speak AND quick to get angry. Nice combo.

As you can guess by now, Jessica did get angry (or frustrated as she likes to say) and I did get angry and pouty and ready to teach her a lesson in what happens when you make ME angry. A little cold shoulder would teach her to appreciate my hilarious and well-thought comedy.

Well-thought comedy that I just blurted out...without thinking. Crap.

In the silence I reflect. I hate being wrong. There must be some loophole where this was all her fault.

Nope.

I was an ass.

Double crap.

So, I ponder my options to try and fix the day and get us back on course. How can I get my heart and mind in the right place so my wife can have a safe and peaceful day with her husband and daughter? It didn't take a whole lot of thought to realize that my words needed just a little more of that...thought.

I needed and need to make sure my head and heart are running before putting my mouth in gear. I need to make sure I'm listening not only to my wife or friend or coworker, but also to myself a little longer before speaking.